Bloody Murder
by Danny3.O
Summary: A bloody kitchen is the only evidence left behind after Gwen Caruther's brother is murdered in a bloody massacre. After 2 years of shock, depression and silhouettes of phantoms, Gwen decides to open up to the people around her. What happens when the person to bring her out of her depression and fall for her is the cause of it all?
1. Chapter 1

**The arrival:**

**Awaken:**

The rain drops struck the ground with pressure. The late fall winds blew the leaves off the willow tree in our yard as I woke up.  
I lay there in bed, body sore and weak. My eyes fluttered open as I gained clear vision of my surroundings. I was in my bedroom, a place I was familiar with but yet it seemed so different. Everything appeared merely as a silhouette. I sat up and looked out my window, as I noticed the dark clouds and everything outside was blurry as it was being masked by the raindrops on the glass.

I placed my feet on the ground and attempted to stand up as I held myself on the wall. I was up and walking.  
I staggered to the door, still holding onto the wall and placed my hand on the door knob. My thoughts were knotted and my heart was racing, I had no idea what was behind that door, but judging from the way the day begun, it certainly was going to be odd. I gasped and took in some air as I turned the knob and opened the door.  
I stepped out of my room into the hallway, which was quite dim. I was still weak in the knees and not fully conscious as I made my way down the hall.  
I was walking towards the stairs until I heard soft sobs coming from my parents' room. Usually I would brush it off and continue walking but today started out strangely, so I thought I might as well get some answers from my parents.

I made my way over to the bedroom door as the sobs begun to thicken and angry mumbling was heard in the background. I hesitantly stepped closer to the door and peeped through the crack of the only to see my mother with her head in her hands as tears streamed down her rosy cheeks. I was in shock, my mother was usually a jolly person, to see her crying was odd. _Even that's an understatement._

I opened the door slightly but quickly moved aside to avoid getting spotted by my father who was in the bathroom with his hands up against the wall and his eyes burning with anger.. at least it seemed like anger, but then again, my father was a very private man. His emotions were hard to read.  
He was panting as if he had just finished arguing and had sweat on his brow. I had never seen him like this. Even though my father never showed emotion of love and sympathy towards us,he never showed anger and hatred either.  
I was scared at this point, seeing both my parents in such a horrific state. I turned around and stepped away from the door so as to not draw any attention.  
I was almost at the staircase, but was stopped by the sound of shattering glass and a blood-thirsty scream coming from my parent's room.  
I rushed back only to see my father breathing heavily with tears streaming down his face as he held himself on the wall, aside shattered mirror. My mother rushed to him and tried to calm him down. He slid his back down the wall in sadness and sat on the glass-covered floor as my mother held his hand and rested her head on his chest. They were both in tears, which I didn't want to see.  
I left the scene and walked over to my brother Link's room.

He was kind of quiet but also a really great brother, a role model at worst. He was my friend when no one was there to comfort me. I considered him a big part of my life. I thought this about my entire family.

I walked over to his room with a little strength I had in me and knocked weakly on his door...  
No answer. I knocked again.

"Link? Are you there?" I asked weakly with a shaky voice., as I tried to hold back tears from what I had just seen.

There was no response which had me worried. I opened the door and entered his room. Link usually locked his room so it was unusual for it to be open like this.  
My mind begun to flutter and wonder what was happening. I couldn't take the suspense and rushed downstairs as I held myself on the wall.

I reached the living room which was deserted. No spec of life in it. I was speechless and didn't know what to think. I felt my head throbbing and the blood rushing to the back of my skull. I needed to rest but need to find out what was going on.  
I glanced over to the door of our 'lovely family kitchen' which now appeared to be a crime scene. I tore down the yellow and black police tape as I entered the bloody kitchen.  
I couldn't believe my eyes. Our kitchen was wrecked. There was blood everywhere, even though the police tried to clean it up.  
The kitchen counter had blood smeared allover it and so did the floor. The whole scene screamed bloody murder.

My iris shrunk as I saw a chalk outline on the floor. The outline was the same size and shape as my brother. M heart stopped as I caught onto the wall of the kitchen. My eyes begun to tear up as I realized what had just taken place in the room where my family and I used to dine.  
I clasped my stomach with the hand I had free and fell to my knees. My tears fell to the floor like the rain fell outside. I felt myself getting light headed as I begun to wail. My heart had just been ripped out and the only thing I could think of was which monster did such a thing.

I felt my body dry up and lose life as I bawled my eyes out. My vision got blurry and I fell to the ground. The last thing I recall was the silhouette of my parents rushing to my aid.

"Gwen!? Can you hear me?!" My mother called as she held my head in her hands and my father knelt at my side.

My eyes shut and every sound was shut out.I was out cold and that's all I recall from _Wednesday 17th June 2012_._  
_Two years ago my brother died and to this day I don't know who did it,which monster took away my best friend.

**So, what do you think? I know it's a bit confusing and short but believe me, next chapter will hopefully be better...So tell me what you think & hopefully I'll update soon..Constructive criticism is highly appreciated.**


	2. Present day

**_Gwen's_ Pov:**

I walked down the hallway as I possessed a feeling of depression. It was 2 years since the death of my brother but i still couldn't forget the horrible event. My mind wondered off as I walked over to the bathroom.  
I opened the door and stepped in to wash up. I wasn't in the mood to get into a cold wet shower at 7:00am so I simply splashed some water on my face and tried to convince myself that was enough.  
I stood there looking in the mirror as I tried to remember who I was before my brother's death. The person I saw in the mirror was a complete stranger. They were as pale as porcelain and their lips were as gray as smoke. Their eyes burned with hatred and depression. This wasn't who I wanted to be, but it was who I became.  
I tried to forget _Wednesday 17th June 2012_, but every time the thought popped into my head, I went into a panic._  
_

I made my way back over to my room but was stopped by a familiar scene. My brother's bedroom door was open just a crack, and seemed like someone was just there. I looked through the crack only to see everything was...the same.  
The room looked exactly like it did 2years ago. My brother's desk had books about chemistry and physics cluttered all over it. His _Three Days Grace_ and_ Mcr_ posters were still on his wall, even his bed remained with the same sheets.  
I hesitantly stepped into the room and felt as though I was Alice falling through the rabbit hole into wonderland. Every thing seemed so strange and out of ordinary since he was dead. I was surprised everything remained as it was, on regular circumstances, mother would turn it into an office for father. The thought of how inconsiderate my parents were at times brought me to the verge of tears, but not just yet. It was something I was used to, ever since we were little kids, I remember my mother doing whatever is needed for my father even though it involved violating our belongings or even harming me and Linc.  
The music I used to hear blasting all the way across the hallway was now merely CD's laying beside his bed. The books I used to find piled on the dining table were now stacked on his desk. The photos we took were no longer taped on the walls but now hidden in a shoe box underneath his bed. These little bits were all I needed to remember what an extraordinary person my brother was.  
I felt a tear stream down my cheek as I clasped the picture we took as children near Alcatraz, to my chest.

I knew if I continued mourning about an event which happened in 2012, I wouldn't be able to go on with my life..normally at least.  
So as I tried my best to hold back tears, I promised myself to shut out all connections to my brother and his death.

I got onto my feet as I placed the portrait on his bedside table and walked out of the room, closing the door on my way out.  
As I made my way to my bedroom to clothe myself, I stopped by my parents' bedroom door. Somewhere I despised setting foot. It brought back memories of me seeing my guardians at their weakest which I quite frankly, didn't need in my life.  
I decided to check on them to see if they were grieving over my brother as well. I knocked on the door as I pushed it open slightly.  
My father was adjusting his tie in front of the full-length mirror they had while my other was in the bathroom cleaning herself.

"Morning,"I said timidly with just my head peeping out from behind the door.

"Yes it is," My father replied as he continued to analyze his appearance in the mirror.

"Where is mum?" I asked even quieter than before.

"Shower. Breakfast is already set up downstairs," He said as he turned his head towards me.

I shut the door and walked back to my bedroom to dress myself.  
My room had this glum and dark feel hovering in it. It wasn't quite different from my brother's, posters of MCR and other bands on my wall, books on my desk and sheets which although they weren't, seemed as if they hadn't been changed in 2 years. I made my way to my wardrobe and got out My usual outfit, dark denim skinny jeans and a black top. I wasn't really the accessory kind, I merely wore ear rings and a leather strap around my wrist, considering I was quite the jaded person.

I clothed myself in the attire I selected and gathered my books as I made my way out of the room and down the staircase.  
I walked into the kitchen which by now you'd expect me to be at peace with, but I cringed every time I stepped into it. I walked over to the fridge and picked out a bottle of water and an apple. I was running late and therefor had no time for cuisine consumption. I walked out of the kitchen as I grasped my back-pack and made my way out the door to got to the horrific place similar to Alcatraz prison_ (I would know)_.

**End of chapter 2:  
So far this is where I'm at.. Thanks to Tigersfury and others who read and reviewed, means a lot to me**.  
**Please review and tell me what you think, sorry if this chapter was choppy and all but trust me, next chapter will be better and have more characters.**

**Lisa.**


	3. A new friend

**Gwen's**** P.O.V:**  
I walked down the street as the clouds begun to gather in the sky and every teenager begun gathering in a clique. Except me, of-course, I simply walked to school on my own as I listened to the sound of Gerard Way's voice in my ears and the chords of _'The ghost of you'_ by my chemical romance played on the bass.  
I wasn't the loner type but I did enjoy solitude. My only friends were Duncan and Bridgette, well, at least my best friends were Duncan and Bridgette. I had others, like Owen and Geoff. Occasionally I would talk to Noah and Izzy but he was too cynical for my liking and she was just a nut job.  
My feet met the ground in sync with the rain-drops which begun to fall. _"Rain at 6:49am? How odd,"_ I thought as I fidgeted with my bag to get out my hoodie. I stopped walking for a bit when I heard foot-steps approach me from behind. I paid no attention to this until I felt my body being struck by another from behind (not in any weird way).  
I fell onto my knees and dropped my belongings onto the concrete sidewalk. "For God's sake," I cursed under my breath as I gathered all I had dropped into my arms.  
I heard groaning behind me and then realized that someone had run into me due to my abrupt stop to shield myself from the attacking droplets of H2o falling from above.

"Jesus Christ, please do not do anything like that again unless you want to be murdered, because believe me, I'm capable of that," a voice said from behind me.  
I wasn't going to back down and whimper as someone lashed me with words.

"Well don't walk with your head up your ass, unless you wanna end up with fractured limbs" I said as I got onto my feet. I was frustrated, was this person really preparing to get into an argument at this time of day? While it's raining? On a Monday? With 'me'?  
I stood up and dusted the dirt off my_ My Chemical Romance _T-shirt as I turned towards the stranger ready to lash them with my venomous words but to my surprise, they were smirking at me, not looking at me with eyes filled with fury, but merely looking at me with their jaw dropped and a smirk plastered all over their face.

"Well you're a feisty one, aren't you?" The stranger said as they stepped closer to me.

"And you're a stalker." I replied as I flipped my hood onto my head and swung my backpack onto my shoulder.

"Well it is raining and I just love following gorgeous girls like you to school," He said as he caught up to my pace.

I felt my cheeks flush with redness and warmth as I looked down at the concrete pavement. I was confused but intrigued by the handsome stranger now walking by my side. I kept silent until I heard him say something.

"So are you gonna tell me where you're going?" He asked

"You guest it already, to school."I said with a smirk.

"So why didn't lash at me earlier when you rammed into me?" I said as I glanced at him through the corner of my eye.  
He was quite good-looking, deep brown eyes with dark circles around them and tanned skin. He was wearing a teal shirt and some of his hair fell over his left eye. He had this gap between his two front teeth which gave him this malevolent look, but I kind of liked it. He looked familiar, like a face I was everyday but blurred.

"Well, you made a witty remark and stood up to me. You've got courage, and I like that in a girl." he said as he looked over to me with a grin.

I rolled my eyes at his attempt to get my attention but actually smiled. And I actually meant it.  
"Why thank you, I usually put guys off with my sass." I said as he begun to walk faster due to the rain getting even heavier.  
He merely grinned and remained silent. I was surprised, no flirty comment? Wow, this guy was was really playing hard to get but I wasn't going to give in. I kept quiet for a while as I thought about what he had said earlier about murder. I was not that scared, but more concerned, this guy looked a bit psychotic and had a demonic voice a little. I tried my best to remain on his good side.

It was getting a little awkward now, so I spoke.

"So what school?" I said a little timidly.

"why would you automatically think I'm going to school, _Gwen_?" he replied, emphasizing my name.

My heart almost stopped. This guy was actually a stalker, how did he find out my name? I did my best and tried to remain calm as I answered him.

"You just seem youthful enough to be a student,"I said as I continued walking.

"Hmm.. Good guess. Now It's my turn." he said with an evil grin.  
"Your name is Gwendelen Caruther, you go to Quebec High, and you are... 18 years old?" He said as he glanced at me.

My eyes widened as I quickly looked up at him with a look of uncertainty. How in the world did he know all that? I remained silent for a second before he spoke again.

"And I'm guessing you're wondering how I know all this?"He said with a smirk.

" No not really, I'm actually used to psychos finding out information about me without even talking to me then stalking me at 7:00am in the morning." I said sarcastically.  
He giggled at what I had said and then spoke.

"Why do you assume I'm psychotic?" he said as he stopped walking.

I, myself, continued. I wasn't going to be late just because a stranger tried to flirt but also creep me out.

"You just look like one," I half yelled as I quickly walked to school.  
I felt warmth on my left arm, and turned around to see him holding me.

"Don't be scared doll face, I'm no stranger to you. Believe me," He said as He grinned and released my arm.

I felt myself blush again but my feelings were interrupted by an odd thought.  
Doll face? only Duncan called me that. Perhaps we really did go to the same school. I felt myself getting less tense as my mind tried to sort out all the happenings.

"So, you don't even bother to find out my name huh?"he smirked.

"Well, you don't really seem like the type to care about names," I replied.

"Alright." He said as he looked ahead with a smirk still on his face.

The rest of the walk was quiet, well, on the outside at least. In my mind, I couldn't stop thinking about this handsome stranger and his charm. I assumed we were in the same class, mostly because we looked the same age and because he probably liked the same things like me. Judging by his clothes, I'd say we were meant to be friends, He wore a teal T-shirt with dark denim jeans and a black My chemical romance hoodie. The _MCR_ logo was not very visible, but I had noticed it earlier. I felt the desire to get to know him but before I could even speak, I heard him utter something.

"Well, we're here," He said as he walked ahead of me towards our school.  
I followed behind but wasn't fast enough, and I definitely wasn't going to run after him, I'd seem desperate. We stepped inside the school, but the halls were empty. It was 7:06am and school wasn't for another 54 minutes so I made my way down the deserted hallway of hell towards my class.  
I was almost there until I heard a familiar voice yell something to me. I glanced over my shoulder and saw my morning buddy near the boy's washroom as he winked at me.

"It's Mal by the way," He said as he entered the boy's bathroom.

I was confused and perturbed. What did he mean? It wasn't until I placed my hand on the disgusting handle of Art class that I realized what he meant. My new friend's name was Mal.  
I smiled mentally and stepped inside the classroom.

**So here you go, new chapter, sorry for being gone for so long but was just a little busy. But I'm gonna be updating every other day now.  
Thank you to all readers, followers and reviewers. Feel free to continue reading, following and reviewing, It would be awesome to hear what you guys think. Thanks,**

**Lisa.**


	4. A demonic walk down memory lane

**Special thanks to all followers and favoriters.  
**

**CHAPTER 4:**

I stepped into the dull and dusty room referred to as Art class. The desks were covered in carvings of birds and quotes by famous writers like William Faulkner, Shakespeare and surprisingly Dr. Seuss . I made my way across the room and took my seat by the window. My desk was like my comfort zone. I carved my name onto as if to claim it was my property (which it was) and I had sheets of paper with my poetry and drawings stuffed into it. It was messy, but I loved it.

I placed my bag on the chair of my desk and sat down. I reached into my backpack to get out my sketchpad and stationary but to my surprise, it was no longer in place. I shuffled my eyes across the room and bestowed them on a familiar figure sitting behind me.

"Good morning doll face," the punk greeted as he scanned my backpack, tossing out my belongings.

"You again," I scolded as I snatched my bag from him.

"Oh come on hun, you can't act like you're not glad to see my face."

"I'm quite revolted actually," I said with a flirty smirk across my face.

I was actually happy that I was already beginning to be surrounded by my few friends this early. Duncan and I had broken up but still remained friends, we realized it would be better to keep our relationship that way. I needed friends around me more than I needed a relationship right now.

"So.. are you okay?" Duncan asked, now with a serious look on his face.

My happiness was now deceased and I went back to my usual irritated and depressed mood.  
"Yes! I'm fine Duncan, now please change the God-damn topic," I snapped.

"Hey, I just care about you, we might not be dating any more but I'm still your friend so I still need to care for you," he replied.

I felt bad for snapping at him, he only meant good. I remained silent and begun to flip through the pages of my sketchpad.  
The bell was then sounded and teenagers begun flooding into the room. I wasn't very irritated by these teens considering I could actually tolerate them. They weren't like the bimbos and jocks who walked through the halls, most of them were actually pretty nice. My eyes scanned the room as I examined everyone's faces and expressions. I noticed Dawn enter with her usual pixie-like face, and I also noticed Dj. He always had this warm and welcoming smile on his face.  
He glanced over at me and waved across the room. I merely shook my head and went back to sitting with my legs perched up on the chair.

I enjoyed art the most due to the freedom experienced in the room. Our teacher, Ms. Carelli, was a young artist who had just finished college and found herself this job. I didn't take much time to get to know her but I enjoyed her lessons.  
She entered the room and class begun.

I could feel guilt consuming my insides and depression taking over. I felt bad about the way I had treated my friends. Most of the times they just tried to cheer me up but being the negative and jaded person I was, I pushed them away. But not any more, I promised myself that I would change and that wasn't a promise I was going to neglect.  
I turned around only to see Mal sitting at the back of the class chatting with Duncan. My heart skipped a beat and my palms got sweaty as I stared at the two 'bad-boys' of the school.  
Surprisingly, they hadn't noticed me, or so I thought. But my thoughts were deceiving me again for I noticed mal glare at me and give me a wink as he continued the conversation with Duncan.

I felt at ease knowing my stalker was a mutual friend but felt perturbed at the thought of that friend being my ex

The lesson went on for another hour and a half until the bell rung, indicating that it was time for geography. I gathered my things and silently made my way down the hallway. The day went on pretty much the same through out and I was relieved when it came to and end. On my way home I tried to fight back tears as I recalled the massacre that took place in my family kitchen 2 years ago today.

My vision got blurry as my eyes were filled with tears. I stopped walking for a moment and sat on the sidewalk with my head in my hands and the wind biting my rosy cheeks.

I tried to slow down my breathing as I begun to have what seemed to be a panic attack and held my bag to my chest.  
My head was aching and my throat was dry. I couldn't believe how ironic it was that I felt the way I did the morning of my brother's death. I felt awful and weak. I hated myself for this. I hated how I let emotions take control like this. I bit my lip as I placed my head on my knees, hoping no one was watching me breakdown like this.  
The harsh fall winds blew strong and I remained in the fetal position at the side of the road.

I felt a warmth on my shoulder as I quickly looked up only to see Mal holding on to me. I quickly got onto my feet as I tried to escape the scene. I wasn't going to let anyone from school see me like this, let alone someone who I wanted to be friends with.

"You OK gorgeous?" he said as tried to catch a glimpse of my face.

I wiped the tears off my face and tucked my arms in the sleeves of my hoodie which I had been wearing the entire day. I ignored Mal and tried to walk away as quick as I could.

"You know I saw the whole thing," He called from behind

I was a lost cause. It was too late to walk away, so I merely gave in and slumped down onto my knees. I was a wreck.  
I remained seated on the concrete pavement as he walked up to me.  
"Please just, don't say anything" I said as I tried to avoid any conversation.

"Please, like I'm going to listen to you," He said as he sat by me.

"Huh," I huffed as i rolled my eyes.

"So you wanna tell me why you just broke down on the side of the road and went all psycho?" He said as he nudged me with his shoulder.

"Go away stalker," I said with a weak voice.

"Oh come on Gwennie, I saw you staring at me today, you can't hide that you want me," He teased with his usual flirty smirk.

"Don't flatter yourself Mal," I said with a smirk on my face as well.  
I was in the presence of someone I actually wanted to be with, there was no way I was going to depressed.

"Alright, The crazies aren't my type anyway," he said as he fixed the hair out of my face.

"I'm not crazy," I said with a stern look on my face. I wasn't going to let him insult me so easily.

"So would you like to explain the whole situation that just went down 5 minutes ago," He replied

"Were not that close yet stalker," I said with a smirk, trying to forget the whole thing.

"When can we get even closer?" he said flirtatiously as he leaned in closer to me.

"Slow down boy," I replied as I lightly smacked his cheek and leaned back against the hedges.

"Huh, I like you Caruther. You're a whole new case." He grinned as he did the same, only he leaned on his bag.

"See why I call you a stalker?" I replied

"please, don't flatter yourself doll face,Just cause we happen to live on the same street doesn't mean I stalk you." he wittily responded.

"Whatever you say," I replied with a blank look as I got my iPod and earphones out of my backpack.

"Am I that boring?" Mal said as he glanced over to the gadget in my hand.

"Sorry?" I asked with a puzzled look.

"You've resorted to music instead of talking to me?" He asked

"You say it so surprised," I replied as I untangled the earphones and plugged them into my ears.I scrolled through the songs on my iPod and came across _Cemetery drive_ by my favorite band which I won't mention (it's too obvious).

"So you're a fan too huh?" Mal said as he peeped at the song playing.

"I don't understand you," I said with a grin.

"Don't play dumb Caruther," He said as he plucked the earphones out of my ears and snatched my ipod from my frail hands.

"Excuse me, Sed Neanderthal, I'm using that," I snapped as I tried to get my iPod.

"Uh uh," he said as he waved a finger in front of me.

"What's the magic word?" He said with an evil grin.

"SCREW YOU!" I yelled a little irritated by his childish games.

"Close but not quite," He said as he shoved me away and begun scrolling through my playlist.  
I sat there in defeat as I watched his grin grown and him chuckle.

"Looks like we got ourselves a little emo here, huh?" He said as he handed me back my gadget.

"I'm not emo, you fool," I said as I pocketed the iPod.

"Judging by your choice of music, I think you are," He chuckled.

"Don't be so quick to judge Mal," I huffed as I crossed my arms.

"Really? Three Days Grace? Thirty seconds to mars? My chemical romance? **Evanescence?**" he said as he listed my favorite bands.

"Oh shut up, I'm guessing you listen to what? One direction?" I said, a little angered as I slung my backpack onto my shoulder and got onto my feet ready to leave.

"I didn't say they were bad bands," He said as he grasped my wrist and pulled me back down.

"And I actually happen to like all those bands," He grinned.

I was surprised. Well, not really, I expected a loner like him to be into the same things as me.  
"Why am I not surprised," I grinned as I sat down

"Don't get cocky Caruther," he warned.

"Why not?" I asked as I leaned in closer to his face.  
"Don't you like bad girls?" I said with a flirty smirk.

"Nice try, but leave the flirty to the masters," Mal said with a smile.

I plopped back onto the ground a little disappointed at the result of my flirtatiousness. But I was happy now, this person actually made me forget the whole reason I ended up on this sidewalk, and that was something special. He manged to cool me down when my feelings erupted and didn't judge me.I gave him a brief smile as I tucked my hair behind my ear.

_"Quit being such a softy Gwen,"_ I said to myself.

"So.. One Direction?" Mal said with a smug look on his face.

"What?" I asked

"How do you even know about those guys?" he asked as he looked at me.

"Can we please change the topic," I suggested.

"Alright," Mal silently chuckled as he rested his head against his backpack.

It was quiet and the only thing that could be heard were crickets and the vocals of Jared Leto, Gerard way, and Amy Lee coming from my earphones. We remained on the sidewalk for an hour and a half since the whole "emo" incident, which meant it was coming to 9pm now. I wasn't in a hurry to return to the house considering that when I did, it would still be me alone till around 10. Father worked till 9 but always took long routes back to the house and mother finished work at 8 but always went to the bar till midnight to drink away her sorrows of the death of her son, the failure in her marriage and the under-paying job she had.

"So where's your family?" Mal finally spoke as he rose from laying on the germ infested floor.

"Well, half of it is dead and the other half is withering away, " I replied as I lowered the volume of the music.

"Hmm.. tell me about it,it will be a good start for our relationship and a great story to tell our kids" He said as he sat up and turned to face me with a smirk.

"You really want to hear the story of my demolished family?" I asked.

"I'm sure I've heard worse,"he nodded as he gathered some pebbles and begun throwing them on the road.

"Well, my brother died two years ago today, my father is a workaholic who doesn't show emotion towards his family and my mother is a happy housewife turned alcoholic who tries to pretend her family is perfect. Oh and then there's me, the disgusting goth waste of matter who recently told her strictly catholic family that she is Baptist and is now labelled as the rebel child." I said blankly.

"Not so messed up, but sad." He said emotionless.

"You're kidding right?" i said surprised.

"No I'm not Hun, I heard all the rumors about you killing your brother or something at school," he replied.

"That rumor is still surfacing?" I asked as I felt rage boil up in my stomach.

"Don't worry gothy, I know you're innocent," he said as a psychotic grin plastered across his face.

"I don't care anymore," I said as I slumped back against the hedge and tears filled my eyes. I tried to suppress the memory but the thought that people would even think I killed the only person who I could turn to brought me to the verge of tears.

There was silence for about 3 minutes until Mal spoke.

"How did he die?" he asked

"Uhm.. he was murdered at our house. In the middle of the night." I said as I fumbled with my thumbs.

"By who?" he asked as he tried to suppress a smirk. I ignored this and answered

"Some monster, who is _"yet to be found"_," I said as I felt the depression be replaced with anger.

"Was he a nice guy," he asked

"Great guy. He taught me everything I know, and protected me all the time. He was only 18 when he died. Tragic isn't it?" I said as I felt my heart slowly crack

Mal merely nodded.

"He got involved with drugs and some juveniles a few months before he died but I never actually knew any of them. All I know is that one of them killed him," I said as my voice cracked.

Mal's eyes were then diverted to me and back to his shoes.

"Do you know which one?" he asked timidly.

"No Mal, I don't! Do you think I'd still be grieving if I knew my brother was served justice?" I snapped as Tears trickled out of my eyes.

"Sorry, just trying to bond" he replied as he brought his knees to his chest.

"Before he died, a few hours, around 11, he told me that he was sorry for all that was to happen in my life after today, that I needed to understand he only meant well. I didn't believe him, I thought it was the drugs talking, but it was real. And that night... he was gone." I said as I broke down into tears.

"I'm sorry to hear that,"Mal said with a little concern in his tone of voice.  
I felt him pull me into a hug as He cradled me in his arms. I felt safe. I pulled away and just sat there. I wasn't going to let my demons win. I had to be strong.  
I dried my eyes and gathered my things as I stood up to leave.

"Well, Goodnight," I said timidly as I walked away.

"Ya sure," I heard Mal mumble as he did the same.

I was in tears but to my surprise Mal walked away with some sort of look of satisfaction on his face. I was puzzled but tired and I needed to get home. I walked back to the house where I would reside and hope to God my parents weren't there yet.

**Here you go, a new update! I'll admit, at first I had no inspiration for this story but later on I just got in the zone. This has been one of my favorite chapters to write so please tell me what you think. I don't mean to sound desperate or anything but for God's-sake people, review! PLeeeasee! I wanna know what you guys think. Anyway, hope you liked it.  
Thanks  
**

**Lisa**


	5. The good life is all I want

**Gwen's**** POV:  
**My feet shuffled down the hard concrete pavement of our neighborhood as I felt my stomach churn and anxious thoughts filled my mind. I fiddled with my thumbs as I approached the little family home nestled ahead of me behind poorly trimmed hedges. The house itself was completely depressing to even look at. It was a dark gray house with black curtains shadowing the events which took place within it. The tiles on the roof grew moldy over the years and the lawn had over-grown grass and dandelions. I didn't really mind how it was portrayed considering it wasn't my home, it was just a house. A place where I slept and ate-that was it. I couldn't look at it the same way again. I saw it as a murder scene and an asylum- filled with depressed and insane people. Every little bit of love left within it crumbled to dust and was no more.

The air thickened and the smell of tobacco grew denser with every step I took. My father was home. Just great. Something that I dreaded. His presence made me realize that each day went by with me growing older and more depressed. But that was a path I was drifting off from, thankfully. I met someone with mutual interests and an up-lifting sense of humor, someone I felt safe to call a friend.  
I walked up to the front door and shoved it open. The house was empty. I knew my father was home considering I smelt him smoking a mile away. I wasn't filled with concern considering my parents never really nurtured me, so I merely made my way up the staircase to my room. Or as I called it, my safe zone.

My combat boots met the ground with pressure as I made my way up the wooden staircase. I jogged over to my door and got out my keys. My room was off limits, I didn't want mother going through my belongings and criticizing my wardrobe. I slid the key into the hole in the door and twisted it without hesitation as I was eager to be alone once again. I stepped into the dark room with band posters taped allover the walls and a little gray rug on the floor and felt all the anxiety and depression disappear. I was now in my own world, one filled with my own music, my own books and my own comfort. It was ecstatic.  
I placed my bag onto the floor as I took my top off and sat down on my messy but comfy bed. I needed to rest after the breakdown I had early on today. I switched on my phone and begun to scroll through my contacts list as I searched for Duncan's number. I needed to apologize for how I acted earlier. My eyes grew wide as I stumbled upon Mal's name saved in my contacts. He must have entered his number when he snatched my phone away from me. I was surprised but glad to see that I had a connection to him other than school.  
I thought back to the moment earlier when I was curled up in the fetal position and felt vulnerable, how I felt as though all was failing and I was just left there alone to crumble as well. I thought about how Mal found me there and managed to help me through it. How he actually made me smile both inside and outside. It was a remarkable moment. My trail of thought was shortened when I heard a knock at my door.

"Gwendelen," My father's voice said from behind the hard mahogany barrier.

I quickly sat up and pulled my duvet over my chest as I walked over to the door.  
"Yes," I said timidly

"We're having dinner out on the patio tonight. Be down in 5 minutes." my father said as I heard his course footsteps soften as he walked off.  
I was in no mood to sit at the table with my wooden father and drunken and depressed mother tonight. I needed to be on my own. I walked back to my bed and collapsed onto it still with a slightly happy thought in my head. The thought of a new friend to confide in.

I wasn't ready to be screeched at so I got onto my feet and put on my black tank top as I made my way down for dinner.. The evening went on as usual, my father and I sat outside waiting for my mother who arrived at home at midnight and then went straight to bed. I asked myself how so much had changed in merely 2 years. And sadly, for the worse. I went to bed at 1:37am with tears in my eyes as I tried to ignore the sound of my mother screaming at my father from across the hall. They were arguing about my mother's drinking like they always did, which I thought was just absurd. Father was no better than her, he smoked. Not continuously, but his lungs were still being deteriorated. I lay there staring at the dark ceiling as I listened to Three Days Grace's _Good life._ It was a song I really related to so I decided to use it as my therapy. Music and art were all that helped me through life. I'd include my religious state but that is a sensitive topic I'd rather no approach.

I felt the tears warm my cheek as they trickled down my soft porcelain skin. I slowly begun to feel myself give in to sleep and shut my eyelids. I thought back to the morning I found out about my brother's death and how I felt my body collapse onto the floor. I felt the exact same way, only this time I wasn't screaming at the top of my lungs.  
It felt as though all the happiness in my life was what was drained out of me as I lay there on the cold floor, flinching with each breath. It was agonizing to even think back to it all, so I shut my eyes as I heard the soothing vocals of Gerard Way as I listened to _Cemetery Drive._ I felt everything turn to a blur as I fell asleep.

**Mal's POV:  
**Satisfaction. This was all I could feel once I left to go home. I felt my adrenaline rush as I watched Caruther's little sister shed tears in front of me. I felt as though I was in control of this little girl's life considering my acts from 2 years ago brought her tumbling down like the roman empire. These malicious thoughts were all that could fill my head as I walked down the sidewalk to the home owned by Mike's parents who were now my parents. As much as they didn't want to admit it, this body was made by the cells of their repulsive DNA. I cringed at the thought of being in a body of someone so weak and pathetic but gladly, I took care of that little issue 2 years ago. Mike was gone and this body was fully mine. The waste of matter was now gone.  
My own thoughts caused me to grin to myself like a madman.

The walk home was long considering I lived further from school than Caruther. The thought of my new fragile toy brought a smirk to my face. I had no interest in this girl at first, all I needed was to see that I made her suffer, but now that I actually had a conversation with her which revealed our mutual interests I wanted more of her. She was younger by a year but looked quite decent. Looks in their family must have come cheap.  
I thought more about my new friend and our similarities but was interrupted when buzzing came from my pocket. I got out my phone but the ID was unknown. I picked up and a sobbing goth girl was on the other line.

"_Hello?"..._

**Bwahaha! Cliffy. There's just something about them that gets your blood pumping, ya know? Anyway, Thank you to all my follower, favoriters and reviewers, particularly Tigersfury and Gypsy for reviewing the last chapter. You guys motivate me to keep writing.  
Please tell me what you thought of this chapter and the story in general. Constructive criticism is always welcome.  
**

**Thanks you guys,**

**Lisa**


	6. My demons

**Mal's P.O.V:**

"_Hello_?" a shaky voice said from across the line.

"Gwen?" I asked the anonymous caller.

"_Hi_," She replied.

"Huh, I knew you'd call." I said with a flirtatious tone of voice.

"_Now's not the time for flirting Mal_," the goth girl replied with a slight hint of hostility.

"Sure. People just call each other at 00:37am with no intention of booty-call these days." I said sarcastically.

"_This isn't a booty-call you bigot_." she replied with a bit of anger.  
I could only Imagine her pale porcelain skin turning a beetroot shade with anger and embarrassment.

"So why are you calling me?" I inquired.

"_I should be asking you why you left your number in my contacts,_" she said as I heard her clear her throat with a timid tone.

"Are you crying?" I asked with concern.

"_No!_" the goth girl replied sternly.

"Have you _been_ crying?" I asked hoping to make her cave.  
I might have scarred this girl emotionally and psychologically but for some reason I felt the need to..._ help _her.

"_Would you judge me if I said yes?"_ she asked as I felt her give in.

"No promises Caruther."

_"My parents just got into a fight and I think my mom may have kicked my dad out. Life is crumbling right before my feet again, ironically, on the same date as the last time."_ she said as I heard her sigh.

"Parents are merely wastes of matter. Funny considering most of the times they **don't **matter." I said as memories of my tragic early life filled my head.

"_Do you even have parents?"_

"Not exactly"

_"Adopted child?"_

"NO." I said sternly

"_Foster kid?"_

"Somewhat. I'm forced to live among these beings who would love nothing more than to see my rotting corpse being burn in hell." I replied.

"_Is that why you're so hostile?"_

"Oh please, I've been nothing but nice to you." I replied with a smirk.

"_And I can't thank you enough."_ She said as I heard her chuckle. At that moment, I felt a smile spread across my face. Not a grin nor a smirk but a full on smile. It wasn't in my nature to be caring and loving. I was programmed to be the evil in someone- programmed to be hated by society. But yet someone I had wronged saw good in me yet even those who I tried to love( even though it hurt) despised me.

"You should be glad you have parents Gwen, even though they don't show affection, they love you. That's something I heard people tell me though in my case they were wrong."

_"What makes you think that?"_

"Believe me when I say they want me dead." I replied as I tried to control the rage.  
I felt the anger and jealousy boil in the pit of my stomach. How could they love that waste of air and yet hate me. I was part of him anyway.

Childhood was painful for me. I was locked up in Mike's head most of the time and didn't know how to escape. I felt anger and depression consume me and didn't even know why. I begun to discover how bad was actually good in my life as I begun to take control of Mike's body and discover how I was made evil and how it was what defined me. But last year when I got rid of him, my evil remained but it no longer defined me. I wasn't the evil personality anymore, I was the human. I tried to love and it didn't hurt, but what hurt was when that love was rejected.

I was known for so much evil that no one could look past it all and see the good. I was control now so I could define who I was, and I wanted a life with someone I could relate to.  
I found that person through murder. Something I tried to run away from. The evil I let go of remained and still continued to rule my life, so now when I feel the emotion of love I doubt. But around her, I feel like it's actually real, even though it's through my past I like to refer to as**_ my_ demons.**

_"How about we change the topic to something less depressing," _she suggested

"Would you prefer to talk about how much you admire me?" I teased

_" I'd rather not."_

"Well then this conversation is over,"

_"Oh come one. We can at least talk about how much you love my choice of music,"_

"That's an interesting topic," I said as I smirked.

Our conversation went on for about 2 more hours until an idea popped into my head

"Are you at home?"

_"Yes..."_ she replied with a worried tone of voice.

"Good enough," I replied as I hung up and got onto my feet to get dressed.

**Gwen's P.O.V:  
**Depression had left my mind as it was filled with happiness and anxiety. My conversation with Mal, again, managed to cheer me up. I was anxious as I heard the line go dead and the only thoughts that could fill my mind were those of disappointment, for how he hung up and ended our conversation. We had much to talk about and yet it ended so fast. I lay there in bed as I felt relieved and understood. I had been laying in my bed as i drew for about 20 minutes when I heard the sound of rocks on my window.  
I walked over to the window and saw Mal standing in my yard.

"_Ready to go?"_

**Tada, new update. Sorry if this chapter was a little boring an all but I just didn't feel that inspired but I didn't want to leave you guys without an the next one will be better.  
Thank you to all reviewers, followers and favoriters. Special thanks moonie44foreternity, Tigersfury and Gypsy for the reviews. I really appreciate it**

**Feel free to review and tell me what you thought of this chapter and the story in general.  
**

**Also, I'm going back to school next week on Monday so I might not be updating that frequently but hopefully I'll try to every Friday and Wednesday.**

**Thanks for all the support guys,  
Lisa**


	7. The Truth is revealed

**Gwen's P.O.V:****  
**I felt my heart leap as I looked down at the dark figure with a familiar face which stood amongst the trees in our yard. Mal had come all the way to my house at 2:47am just make me smile. Or at least that's what I think he's trying to do.

I saw him smile at me as he gestured his hands as if to say "come down". I was hesitant to do so. I mean who wouldn't be? It was a two story drop and the middle of the night, the slightest mistake and my parents would awaken and I would be in big trouble. One more episode of mine and it was off to Catholic school for me. I couldn't take that risk, so I merely shook my head to show my decline.  
Mal's smile now turned to a frown as he gave me a glare of frustration. I merely shrugged and gave him a sympathetic look.  
He smirked at me and stretched out his arms.

_"Come on hun,"_ He said as his smirk grew into a sadistic grin.

I shook off the thoughts of uncertainty and went for it. I quickly ran over to my bedside table and grabbed my phone and iPod. I put them in my pocket and walked over to the window.

"You better be strong Mal" I said as I hesitantly stepped out of my window and jumped down to him.  
My heart nearly burst out of my chest as I felt my body thump into his arms.

I was safe.

"Ready to go Caruther?" he asked he placed me down onto the ground.

"Where exactly?" I asked with a tone of worry.

"It's a surprise," he smirked as he grasped my wrist and pulled me closer.  
I felt my heart leap in my chest once more as I felt his ice cold hands on my wrist. I was confused. Why did I feel like this?

I saw Mal merely as a friend. Nothing more. Why did he make me feel aggravated at one moment and then flustered at another? I didn't want to feel this way. I didn't want love, not to have that precious gem ripped out from my hands by the ugly world.  
I realized how quiet it had been since he grabbed my hand and we begun walking, so I decided to speak.

"So why exactly did you come to my house at 2:00am in the morning?" I asked

"To take you on our first date,"he said as he looked ahead and lead me by the wrist like a dog on a leash.  
I didn't like to be controlled, so I pulled my hand away.

He looked at me with a look of surprise but also amusement. I smirked back and responded to his earlier statement

"Sorry Mal, you're not my type," I said as I wrapped my arms around my torso.

"You mean not yet," he said jokingly  
"And besides, this is just a friendly stroll,"

"Good..._friend_" I said emphasizing the word friend and waiting for a response.  
He looked at me from the corner of his eye and smiled.

"So I'm guessing your curious about where we're going and a little worried, huh?"

"Not really." I said casually.

"And why exactly is that?" he asked as he stopped walking and waited for me to catch up with him.

"Because I can trust you." I replied as I walked ahead of him.

"Our first encounter was me bumping into you and threatening to kill you," he half-yelled from a few feet behind.

"Who said I don't like death-threats?"I said jokingly as I slowed down for him to catch up.

"Well, I'm not surprised. Emos like you probably can't wait to die," he said with a smug look on his face.

I felt my hands for fists and my temper rising. I hated being called emo. Just because I was hurt and listened to rock people classified me as the weird loner girl or emo kid who is also a murderer.

"I'm not emo you bigot!" I snapped.

Mal looked at me with a surprised look but at the same time looked like he was trying to suppress a laugh.I felt my cheeks flush with warmth as I was a bit embarrassed for snapping like that

"Sorry," I said shyly as I looked down at my feet.

"Why be?" he asked with a giggle

"Excuse me?" I asked confused.

"You were just expressing your feelings. I mean, you were kind of being a bitch but I deserved it." He replied as he slid his hands into his pockets smoothly.

"So you're not mad?" I asked still in shock. Usually people would be offended when I barked at them but he remained calm.

"No, I know you weren't being serious. I do that kind of stuff all the time, I was just trying to get under your skin," he said with an evil grin.

I felt a bit more at ease but still a bit worried considering I was in the presence of someone who enjoyed other people's misery. I tried to shut out my paranoid thoughts as I tried to reason. _he was probably just doing it for fun. _I told myself.

"Psycho," I said with a slight smirk.

"Oh please, you know you like the crazies. You probably feel "understood" he replied with a mocking tone.

"Speak for yourself."

"Denial." he said and then kept silent for almost 5 minutes.  
Why did he do that? Talk and then just switch off? Was he teasing me or was he really just bored with the conversation? All these thoughts filled my mind until I heard his sultry voice.

"So you're a rock fan, huh?

"You realize that now?" I said with a smile.

"Do you have your phone with you now?" he asked as he turned to me.

"Uhm, yeah. Why?" I asked as I got my phone out.

"Hold on to it for now," he said as we continued walking.

The rest of the walk was quiet as we went to wherever Mal was taking me, until he spoke.

"Well, we're here." he said as we stopped walking right in front of a comic book/ music was the perfect place to hang out. Guitars hanging drum sets set up and stacks of comic books, sketch pads and canvases along with pencils and paint. It was ecstatic. It felt as if I were in my element and it wasn't that far from home.

"Well you seem shell shocked." Mal said as he shoved my arm lightly.

"Oh sorry" i apologized as I noticed my jaw had literally dropped.

"So are we going in or what?" I asked excitedly.

"Not today sweety" Mal said as we walked away from the heavenly building.

"WHAT?" i asked filled with confusion.

"I was just showing you the place where we will be hanging out at now.

"You little_" I was cut short when Mal decided to run off.

"Bye" he yelled as he walked off.

"I'll get you," I shouted to him

"I'd love to see you try."

I smiled to myself. Finally, a friend.  
========================

The rest of the week was spent with Mal. He and I had become inseparable in a way. That was until Friday night of course.

We opened the door to the music store and switched on the lights only to reveal posters of my favorite rock bands plastered on the walls. IT was now my first time to see the inside of this place and it was perfect. It was like I was back in my room. There were posters of bands like Nirvana, Metallica,Linkin park, Evanescence, My chemical romance, 30 seconds to mars and of course Three days grace.  
I felt a smile plaster across my face as I rushed to the middle of the room. and jumped behind the counter. I didn't care If he thought I was creepy, I loved music, drawing and reading, and this place was filled with all those things. It was so magical, it was unreal. The only thing that would make it better was if some music was playing.

"Do you mind if I play some music," I said as I popped my head out from behind the counter like one of those carnival game moles.

"Not at all," Mal smiled as he took off his Mcr jacket and tossed it onto the floor. I couldn't help but giggle at his messiness.

"But on one condition," Mal said with a stern look.

"I get to pick the song," he said, loosening up his face muscles.

"Fine by me," I replied as I tossed him my phone.

It was silent for a while as he scrolled through the songs on my phone until I heard the beginning chords of MCr's _I never told you what I do for a living. _I felt a smile pop onto my face as I heard Gerard Way's heavenly voice paired with the amazing guitar of the geniuses Ray Toro, Frank Iero and Mikey Way as well as the drums of Bob Bryar.I felt joy fill my heart as I realized we both had the same favorite MCR song.

I saw Mal smile at me as he pretended to sing

"I TRIED!" he mouthed as he walked over to me.

"_And never again, they gave us two shots to the back of the head and we're all dead now_," I sang.

I noticed Mal stop lip-synching as he stood there staring at me. I felt my cheeks become red from embarrassment. I never really sung in front of anyone and wasn't planning to.

"What?" I asked trying to play it off

"You can actually sing?" he asked with a smirk

"No, I can't" I replied immediately.

"Uh, yeah you can Gwen." Mal teased.

"You're a little singing princess." he chuckled as he jumped onto the counter to sit down.

"Piss off Mal!" I scoffed. I didn't like being made fun of and Mal was really getting on my nerves.

"Relax Missy, I'm just playing with you." He replied as he continued scrolling through my phone looking for another track to play.

"Oh this is a good one," I heard him mutter as Three Day's Grace's _Good Life_ came on.

"Didn't know you were a fan." I smirked as I sat by him with my legs dangling in a child-like manner.

"Now you know. And for God's-sake Gwen, stopped being such a loser and trying to hide your true self. Listening to rock doesn't make you emo." he said flipping through some pages of a Doom patrol comic.

_Says the boy with the emo fringe, skinny jeans and cut scars on his wrist. _ I thought as I looked at his arms.

"What the_?" I asked shocked as I lifted his arm.

"You cut?" I asked with my eyes wide open

"NO you dimwit, I used to. Around 3 years back. When my..._brother_ Mike was still around." He said pulling his arm back with a look of anger.

"No need to get pissy, princess," I said with tinge of sass. I didn't mean for my words to sound bitter but my mouth was like a faucet which couldn't be shut at times.

"Watch the sass hun," he smirked.

I merely rolled my eyes and remained silent until 5 minutes later when I decided to ask him something

"How long have you known Duncan?"

" 3 years. We met in Juvie in 2011," He replied.

I felt my heart skip a beat as I felt the paranoia and panic fill my bloodstream.

"My brother was in juvie in 2011, that's when he met Duncan and his bigot friends who killed him." I said with a crack at the end.

"Hmm.. I met 2 good friends of mine in juvie too. One boy with a slightly insane sister and another with a screwed past on the farm." Mal said while doodling on his arm with a sharpie.

"Scott?" I asked as I felt my body go cold.

"Yes.. and Lincoln." Mal said as he tried to suppress a smile.

I was terrified at the moment. He was one of them. Duncan, Scott and him were the bigots who killed Linc.  
I wasn't very scared considering there were others involved in the murder and Scott was already sent to jail for an unknown reason, (most likely murder.) but I couldn't shake the feeling that he might have been the one to take the life of my brother.

I didn't want to believe that,not now at least. Not when I had made a new friend. I tried to relax as he continued to talk.

"We all got out in November except for me. I was held back until August 2012. The rest of the guys left me there to rot in the cellar. They would visit at times, but they kept a distance. In June, I got a call saying one of them had died. Your let me attend the funeral and gave me parole for a week before I was taken back to hell in July. I spent the rest of my time there grieving and cutting my arms due to my depression. My friends abandoned me. They had forsaken me," HE said with a crack in his voice

"They left me there and killed one of their own. I thought they were monsters. I called Duncan as soon as I got out and asked him what happened. He explained it all and told me that the murder was anonymous. I wasn't really interested in your brother's death, Gwen. More so in the reason for them leaving me." he said with a blank look on his face.

I was a bit hurt but tried my best to hold back tears. Sadly I failed.

"YOU MONSTER!" I yelled with tears streaming down my face.

"ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS WAS MURDERED IN THE NIGHT BY YOUR FELLOW JUVENILES, EVEN WORSE, ONE OF **HIS OWN** FRIENDS, AND YOU DIDN'T CARE?!" I screamed.  
I was furious and hurt. He knew that one of his fellow criminals murdered my brother but remained silent. Not that it would change anything but at least I would know someone cared. It seemed as though everyone saw Linc as Trash, and that hurt me.

_Why are you crying? It won't change the monstrosity of the world and the beings crawling on it. Give up._I heard my thoughts tell me. They were right. The world was an ugly place.

I looked at Mal with fury burning in my eyes with my fists bawled as he stood there looking at me with surprise. I gave up. I turned on my heel and headed home. I heard him call my name but ignored it for the only thing that I could hear was the sound of my inner demons laughing at me and my tears striking the ground- at least I thought it was my tears, but no. It was rain.. again. (Goddamn fall storms)

I ran home with my head pounding and tears streaming down my cheeks. I felt my body give up. I had cried too much in life that it was probably affecting my health. I felt my legs give in to the inner demons and I felt myself fall to the ground. My body came in contact with the hard concrete but I didn't really care. I was already in excruciating pain, this was nothing compared to that.

I pulled myself up and sat with my head on my knees. I looked up and noticed where I was. I was on the exact spot where Mal and I had been sitting the previous day.(it was now 5:38am)I could feel the cracks form on my heart as I dealt with the cruel realization that the world was and always will be evil. The one person I could talk to non-stop and feel safe was the very one to crush my heart in his icy cold hands.  
I felt destroyed. I had known Mal for only about 2 or 3 weeks and we had already become very close, well until minutes ago when I lashed him with my venomous words.

_Venom._I was then reminded that I still had my iPod. I picked the gadget out of my pocket and scrolled through my MCR playlist(yes, i have lots of their music & Three days grace).  
I came across a song which described my emotion perfectly.. _Kill all your friends._

"_And I will die in this place,_" I sang.

I skipped from song to song, after that it was Three days grace _animal I have become_ (dedicated to Mal of course) then Evanescence _Bring me to life_ and then Linkin Park's _Numb_ (a classic) but then it was back to full cirlce MY chemical romance and three days grace. _I need more music_

I at on the hard pavement as the sky cleared and so did my eyes. Although they were red and puffy, I wasn't crying.  
I lay my head down on the pavement to have a nap like the true hobo I was but was interrupted by The sound of Duncan and Bridgette's voices.

_"GWEN!"__

**Vwala! New update. I'm so sorry that I delayed to update, I was just really busy with school but hopefully it'll all get better. Thank you guys soooo much for reading and reviewing, it means A LOT to me, like you have no idea how F*cking loved I feel when I read the reviews. So thank you guys :)**

**Please feel free to review, follow or favorite, doesn't matter. I'll still find you and hug you anyway :)  
Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter.**

**Bye,  
Lisa**


	8. Remind me how this all began

**CHAPTER 8:**

**Gwen's P.O.V:  
**The sound of footsteps and cries of worry were head 10 meters away. I tried to open my eyes but felt completely drained. My body lay there on the damp floor as my friends rushed to my aid.  
I didn't open my eyes and wasn't planning to. I was in no mood for pity and knowing my friends, that's exactly how they'd treat me.

I got onto my feet and dusted my shirt off. I didn't enjoy specs of dirt resting on my body- let alone my clothes.  
I heard their footsteps thicken and strike the ground with such pressure I assumed it would crack. They ran over to me and before I knew it, Bridgette's arms were rapped around me.  
I felt her squeeze the oxygen out of me and thought I was soon going to collapse onto the sidewalk.  
I attempted to free myself from her grasp and luckily, I succeeded.

"Are you okay?" she asked looking at me warily.

"Yes. I'm fine." I replied sternly trying to avoid eye contact.  
I had recently been crying and considering I was as pale as a ghost, the streaks of tears were quite visible on my skin.

"Doesn't look like it doll-face," Duncan spoke as he approached me and cupped my cheek in his hand and inspected my glistening face.  
I felt my stomach knot up as Duncan looked upon me with sympathetic eyes and Bridgette stood aside him with a worried look. I liked Duncan but our friendship was too remain all it was. A friendship.  
I didn't want to make him suffer by having to put up with me. After all, how could he even love me if I didn't love myself?  
If I wanted to end it all, how sure was I I wouldn't have an effect on him?

"I'm Fine." I say as I brushed his hand away and tried to give sad smile.

"You don't look like it," Duncan sighed as he placed his hands in his pockets.

"Gwen, you need to go home. Your parents are really worried about you." Bridgette said as she held me in her arms once more.

"My _parents?_" I asked with confusion painted on my face.

"When you didn't come back home last night, they got worried and called me asking if you were at my house. I told them no and tried to ask what was wrong but your mum immediately hung up." Bridgette explained.

"They just called?" I asked

"Yeah," she replied

"And didn't even send out a rescue party?" I asked with an irritated tone.  
I felt the anger boil in my gut and my hands coil into fists. Their only child went missing and they didn't even send out a search party? Those inconsiderate fools.

"Leave me alone guys, I'm going home." I said as I gathered myself together and left my best friends on the street...once more.

_What's wrong with me?_

I asked myself this as I heard my friends call to me and I continued stomping towards the death-hole known as my supposed _home._  
Why did I always abandon my friends when they tried to help me? I was always depressed and sad and all they did was try to help me only for me to respond by either snapping at them or getting up to leave.  
I was quite puzzled at how they stuck around me even when I was being utterly infuriating.  
And even more so at the main question flooding my mind...

"Why was I this way?"

I asked myself this question as I lazily strolled down the sidewalk listening to some classic early 2000s P!nk.

"_Everyday I fight a war against a mirror, can't take the person staring back at me,_

_I'm a hazard to myself"_

I sung in a low, raspy voice as I tried to choke back tears.

Was I this way because of my brother's death or was it just my nature?  
As a little girl I was always an outcast, but I actually enjoyed being on my own. No need to put up appearances because I didn't care about all those people at school. No need to change the way I was because I actually liked need to cry because I didn't feel the pain.

I didn't feel the emotional razor slash my wrists. At least not until I was around 11 or 13. I don't quite I do remember the first cut.

**_*FLASHBACK*_**

"Get over here you booger!" I heard my brother's voice call from round the corner of the hallway.

"You have to catch me!" I giggled as I ran around with his black striped tie in my tiny 10-year-old hands.

"AHA!" Linc yelled as he caught onto my shoulder and tackled me.

"LET ME GO!" I squirmed in the arms of my big brother...well, bigger brother...(_we were both quite small for our ages)_

"Give me my tie you bigot," he said as he snatched it from my frail hands and ruffled my hair as he got onto his feet.

"You're a bully!" I pouted as I got up and dusted-off my grey pencil skirt and smirked at my brother whose tongue was pointed out at me.

HE got up onto his feet and reached his hand out for me to catch onto but I soon fell back onto my rump as I my brothers arm withdrew and he stared at my burnt arm.

"Wh..who.. did t...that?" he stuttered pointing at my arm.

I quickly pulled my sleeve back down and explained to him the bullying.

I was abused at school for no reason. For liking to be alone. For liking to play at the playground at being what I wanted. I wasn't accepted.

The last thing I recall from our conversation was my brother ending it with a hug and us leaving for school.  
But that didn't stop the bullying. Nothing could really..except myself.  
Which is why I went goth. For my clothes to show people the message "_F*ck off"  
_And it worked. It wasn't me, but it worked.

**_*END OF FLASHBACK*_**

My brother.

He wasn't the reason I was so messed was the one whose shirt I cried into, the one who wiped my tears.  
He helped me. But sadly...

Not enough.

He would fight, yell at mother and father, I even found him staring blankly at the wall at times and even clutching and un-clutching his fists in an angered manner.  
I didn't want to bring it up considering I was his younger sister, but still I felt the need to know what was going on.  
I didn't understand Linc, he was popular at school, was an average student and seemed very lovable.

He was like everyone's big brother. And yet whenever you brought up the bullying topic he'd get sad. Even just the topic of depression.  
I understood he was schizophrenic but I didn't really think it would affect him this bad.  
I pitied him. Having to deal with all that along with our psychotic father.

Yes. Psychotic. The spawn of the devil if I may say.I hated _that man_ with all my heart. He tortured me and my brother all the time. Mother too, at times. Mostly Linc, considering mother threatened to file a divorce if he ever lay a finger on me.

But yes, he beat Linc. He beat him so bad he had the scars and everything.  
I can still recall the first time when he struck him with the hose at our grandparents' house and the time he slapped him in front of the whole school.  
But worst of all, I remember when he nearly killed him.

It was one of the last days of summer at around 11:00pm when Linc was around 9 and he found him and I playing pirates past bedtime. My father stepped into our room, dragged Linc out by his hair and battered him.  
I didn't witness it but I remember hearing my brother's vocal chords rip as he screamed and pleaded for mercy.  
That's a night I couldn't forget considering it was the first time my brother died. Not physically, but emotionally.

He came back into the room shivering in the middle of the night and lay in his bed as he cried himself to sleep and I did the same, thinking shedding the tears with my brother would mean sharing the pain and taking some away. I was wrong.  
It went on until Linc was around 13. But he was already scarred by my father.

Linc was dead but still managed to control my emotions the entire walk home. Which meant he was also the one responsible for making me walk into the lamp post considering I was now home.

_"Gee,Thanks Linc,_" I giggled to myself.

Surprisingly, I wasn't sad anymore. I had forgotten about Mal. Forgotten about how my new Savior butchered my heart and how I even ended up on that of my brother brought tears, but I felt relieved. I felt like it was over. Of course it's not true but I still had hope. That was until I stepped into the house only to find my shattered mother wailing like a banshee and my cynical father packing his things. It was done.

_Took 'em long enough_

Shut up brain.

And just like that, the first thought to pop back into my brain was;

_"I need Mal"_

**_TAAADDDAAAA! Okay, I'm sorry I haven't updated for so long but school here is hard okay? And I'm kinda lazy _  
_Hehe ^_^. But from now on I'll try my best to update. But don't get your hopes up.  
_**

**_SO tell me what you thought of this chappy! I honestly loved it. I had a lot of pepped up emotion today and when I sat down to write at first, I was like "Damn... I have So many ideas which shouldn't be in one chapter. C'mon Melissa, think. Just let it flow"  
And BOOM! I got this.  
I know it kinda drifted off but I had to rewrite a little because I felt like this chapter made the whole story about Lincoln so..yh..  
But I'm actually quite glad with what I did.  
_**

**_So, good news... since I haven't updated for long.., I've decided to give you guys TWO chapters... TOMORROW! That's if my net isn't down but I'm like... 93% sure u guys will get em.  
I'll try._**

**_WOW...long A/N.. anywho, you guys know the drill.  
Review, favorite, follow and just...read and enjoy! :D  
Thanks soooo much for all the support guys,it means so much! I love you guys all.  
Special thanks to ThegypsyBelle, she's awesoem, you guys should check out her profile and do the same for all my reviewers not just her cuz you're all great. Thanks so much.  
_**

**_Tell me what you thought of this so far. Sorry no Mal in this, next chapter will have both. I promise_**

**_Love you guys,  
Lisa_**


	9. Take the pain awayNOW!

**CHAPTER 9:**

**Mal's P.O.V:  
**I walked down the cold stone pavement with my feet crashing onto the concrete and a cluster of mixed emotions brewing in my chest. I didn't know what I was feeling. And I sure as hell didn't like it.  
The anxiety made me nauseous, the anger made my vision blur but worst of all-  
The most confusing, agitating and flustering feeling, was the guilt I felt for hurting Gwen.  
And that was probably the reason my mind was foggy and my fists were clenched at the moment.  
The guilt was most likely the root of all this, that I was sure of.

The anxiety sprout from me wondering if she was right, the anger from the fact that I **knew **she was right and flustering feeling possibly the worst of all-  
From the fact I knew I liked her and now I hurt her all over again.  
But then a thought struck;

_Since when do I care?_

Since when did I let fellow humanoid control my emotions? Since when did I let them break me down like this?  
Since when did I even develop feelings?  
These questions struck me like a mallet straight in the face.  
How in the world did I lose myself to Gwen? That goth girl to whom I felt the utter urge to destroy.  
One with the blood of my past rival. No way was she going reverse the wheel and make me her puppet.

Was she my friend?  
Yes.

Did I want to remain like that?  
Maybe.

Was I willing to be controlled?  
**Heck no!**

I was already once in chains when my "_dearest brother" _Micheal kept me inside.  
When he locked up in that dark room known as his subconscious. I remember every breathing moment of those times.

The way the chains felt around my wrists. The cold metal against my even colder skin.  
The migraines and frequent blackouts.  
The way I was portrayed as a _"by the way"_.  
When he tried to cover me up with his silly antics of slashing his wrists with steel. The times when he lied I was just a "character" or even "a mere emotion or mood".  
NO. I was more. I **am** more. That I know.

I felt a grin creep upon my face as memories of Me and Mike's adventures flushed through my head.  
Most were of me leaving him with my unique "_parting-gifts" _on his wrists and face.  
The lines of red I left to dance on the cheek of him and his mother. The tears I made him shed. The cracks I formed on his psychological mind. These thoughts all made my heart feel warm and surprisingly, at the same time, made it sink.

Why?

Did I not like my cruelty? My malevolent charm? The way I hurt people? Or was I just confused with all the emotion Gwen had left me with.  
I begun to question myself on whether this was the true me, or the Mal Mike created. The one he tried to hide away from the world. Was he right when he said "Malevolence is merely a character" was he right when he placed me with that label? Or was I the right I right when I said I was born like that? When I felt my adrenaline pump when I crushed someone's feelings?  
Was I right to think that I was born with this character?  
I felt myself hope that Mike was right when he said it's just character, for if I were right, that would mean no change for me. No way out. And that wasn't what I wanted.  
Sure the adrenaline was there but after a few seconds, it would fade into depression. I would end up with anger and rage.

Although I hoped Mike was right, I hoped I wasn't wrong. For if I were wrong and he right,..

That would make me what I fought against... That would make me a _puppet.  
_Mike's puppet. And I didn't want that.

I tried to sort out the rest of my thoughts as I passed a familiar looking place. 3O8 Welster Drive.  
The street where me and Gwen ironically, met. Both when I bumped into her, and when I found her having a breakdown. But not only was it that, but it was where we would meet every Friday before going to the music store.  
It was our little _spot._

Memories of our meetings and adventures filled my mind but were instantly interrupted when I came to a new realization.

Gwen's house was only a few blocks away.

I pondered on whether I should go visit her or ignore the urge to see her gorgeo-

_Wait? Was I just about to call her gorgeous?  
Since when was I able to feel attraction to anything let alone anyone__._

I ignored my human "_man urges" _and continued my walk with a few steps before I bumped into a dark figure walking towards me and fell to the ground.  
I rubbed the back of my head and tried to gather myself to lash out on the incompetent fool but was stopped when I realized who it was;

It was Duncan. My juvie pal.  
**A/N: Bet you guys thought it was gothy, huh? ;) **

I looked at my old friend as he ruffled his green mop of hair and cussed under his breath.

"Goddammit,"

"Well hello to you too, my pal," I said reaching out my hand to help him up with a smirk.

"Watch where you're going next time. I was just about to slit your throat," he retorted as he got up and dusted off his shorts.

"Oh please, I could take you down in one second." I said with smug grin.

"Yeah, whatever. What are you even doing around here so early on Saturday?" Duncan asked scanning the neighborhood with his eyes.

"Just taking a stroll" I answered shoving my hands into my pockets.

"What? Had a rough night running away from the police?" he asked with a smirk.

"If only," I scoffed

"Then what was it?" he asked

"Well, I met up with a friend, got into a fight, got screeched at and ended up here," I responded gesturing my arms to the home-y neighborhood.

"Aah, classic Mal" Duncan chuckled.

"Yeah, I know. So, anyway, why are you here?" I asked trying to change the topic. I was in no mood to explain Gwen's breakdown considering she was a friend of both of us and she didn't really like when people knew about her instability. That, and the fact that I tried to avoid thoughts about her considering I nearly called her attractive.

"Just visiting Gwen."

_Well that was unexpected._

"You were at her house?" I ask with wide eyes

"Mhm" he nods.

"Right now?"

"Uhm, yeah. Why so startled?" Duncan asked giving me a look of uncertainty and a little smirk.

"Well, considering she's the one who got me here, I'm just trying to process all this." i say with a casual tone.

"Wait, what do you mean she got you here? You're the one she got into a fight with?" Duncan asks as his expression drops.

"Uhm, yeah." I nod.

"DUDE?! Do you know what you even did?" He yells.

"What are you talking about?" I ask

"She's been crying all morning about how the world is an evil b*tch., the entire morning." Duncan states.

"And that is my fault...how?"

"You said it yourself, you got into a fight with a friend." he plainly states.

"Yes you peon, what am I supposed to do? Buy her flowers?" I ask with a sense of irritation in my voice.

"Fix. This." he states

"How?" I ask

"Figure it out. You're my friend, but when it comes to Gwen, don't dare hurting her. She's been through too much, that you of all people would know." he answers

"What do you mean you delusional child?" I ask

"Don't play dumb Mal. The murder." he answers staring at me.

"Psh.. She won't find out."

"She better not. I'm not ready to be tossed out of Gwen's life because of your foolish influence on me." Duncan glares.

"And why is this exactly? Still like her ,lover boy?" I tease with a bit of jealousy boiling in my stomach for no apparent reason.

"Just because I'm not evil like you, doesn't mean I still like her. I'm being a friend. Nothing more. But hey, I don't blame you for not knowing it, you've probably never even had anyone there for you."

"You of all people would know. You and that dog Caruther left me to rot in at least that dead hag had the decency to not escape the murder scene, leaving me in the yard with bloody hands and a butcher knife." I scoff as I feel anger build up. Memories of my past usually made me this way, luckily I learned to control it.

"He was dead you idiot," Duncan states, rolling his eyes.

"Not the point. The point is, don't even bring up the whole , "being a friend" thing because if you couldn't be there for me without wanting to get in my pants, what makes you think I'll believe you'd want to do for Gwen, Hm?" I ask as i feel myself calm down, but instead of anger, I feel hurt.

Why is it people could be there for everyone in their lives except for me? Everyone except Gwen. Which is why I guess Duncan cared about her. She probably did the same for him, just like she did for everyone in her life. Everyone except herself of course-  
which crushed me.

But now wasn't the time for that, now was the time to question my partner in crime and best friend about what had happened.

"What happened this morning?" I ask

"Well, we found her laying on the pavement a few blocks away from the music store with her headphones in but surprisingly, she wasn't crying just,..laying there...almost numb. Afterwards she left and went home.  
I visited her house an hour later but she wasn't home. Neither were her parents so I left and that's when I bumped into a tree a soon realized to be my best friend." he replied finishing the sentence with a full tooth smile.

"She didn't say why she was upset?" I ask

"No. But I sure as hell hope you didn't tell her about the incident. Did you?" Duncan warns

"No. Just told her how I knew her brother." I admitted as I felt the guilt creep on.

"Mal you fool! She's bound to find out soon and now she knows we had to do with it."Duncan yells as he clasps his forehead in his hands.

"Cool it You bigot. It's been two years. We'll be fine" I reassure him.

"You think that will help the guilt?" he asks irritated but calmer than before.

"No, but booze will. So go get drunk while I scamper off to find her" I say tapping his shoulder.

"Dimwit," I hear Duncan mumble as he shoves my hand off his shoulder and walks off.

_Oh, we both know he's really going to get drunk.  
But now I have to find a raging unstable goth girl dead or alive. Hopefully not the 2nd option because she mgiht rip my head off but we'll have to wait and see.  
_

_Hmm...guilt's gone. _

And just like that, I'm off to find my toy and make sure it's beaten up, broken or even been stolen. Because it's mine and only mine to play with.

...

**Okay, so I know I said Two updates and Both characters POVs, but c'mon guys, I get tired too. (not really, I'm just lazy..I'm sorry)  
But hey,** **at least it's a****n update and now Mal's back! Yay!**  
**So anyway sorry about the wait, it's just different time zones and all and I was busy today but it's here now** **and I hope you guys are pleased. I really enjoyed writing and I hope you guys enjoy reading.**

**Tell me what you thought of it and the story in general.**

**Thanks for all the support,  
Lisa :)**


End file.
